How Timmy Bresnan Saved My Day

Today was my fourth day at the SCG, but before it all started, I was up early to watch some football. There was some match between two teams, I don't remember the score. After that initial disappointment, I got the bus into Sydney. On the bus was a nice bloke who I got chatting to. An England fan originally from Newcastle but now living in Essex, we got chatting about football, cricket and life. When I found that his name was Bryn, I just about managed to not say "alright Bryn, how's it going, alright?" or another Gavin and Stacey reference (but only just).

After yesterday's post in which I spoke about money troubles, I needed to get some, but luckily thanks to the kind and lovely people of Commonwealth Bank, I was able to withdraw 150 bucks (what the Australians call money). Bryn waited for me outside the bank, as he didn't know the way to the SCG, so I walked with him, where we bid farewell.

My day at the test was up and down. While England were batting, I was enjoying it. England got all out just after lunch, so Australia came out to bat just as it was getting to be the hottest time of the day. Now I have a confession to make - I don't like beer. (Not the Aussie spinner Michael Beer, though I don't much care for his left-arm darts). I've never really liked the taste of beer, and while I can sort of tolerate certain types of beer, most make me feel a bit ill. As a cider man, I've been traipsing to the one cider bar in the SCG to get my fill of Aussie Strongbow (which is incidentally far nicer than English Strongbow). Every day of the test, the cider bar's been quite empty, so I've been able to walk up, show my ID (which I keep getting asked for even though they must recognise me by now) and sit down again all in the space of a few minutes. When I went up this morning, there was a really long queue. Surprisingly so. So being smart, I decided to get two drinks now, to save me having to queue next time. This cider bar sells exclusively cider from a tap; nothing else. So after paying for two drinks of what was reasonable to assume was cider from the cider bar, I had a sip of a drink, to find that it clearly wasn't a cider. To start, it had a frothy head. After going back to ask why I hadn't been served cider, I was told that they'd run out of cider (this is about 20 minutes into the day) and they had switched to Victoria Bitter. So not only had my lovely cider been replaced with a dirty beer, it was what's renowned as the worst beer in Australia. VB.

Safe to say I wasn't best pleased that I'd had to pay for two expensive drinks that I didn't really want. While I tried to drink one, I soon found that it was one of the beers that makes me feel ill. After this episode, I returned to the other option to beer, which was the free water.

So as I mentioned earlier (before my alcohol related rant) it was now the hottest time of the day. I was upset and annoyed because I didn't have any cider to drink. The weather (which I mentioned as being unbearable yesterday) was even worse today, which was giving me a headache and making me feel dizzy. It wasn't just me, old people all around were summoning medical attention. I'm still fighting jetlag, which makes people dizzy and nauseous. However, as it was lunch time, I decided to treat myself to some of the finest offerings of the SCG catering staff (chicken dippers and chips). After queueing up for what seemed like an eternity, I took my cardboard box of food, and bit into my first chip. For whatever reason, as soon as that fateful chip touched my tooth, something dental happened, and I was in agony. A million knives shot into my mouth, and straight into the left side of my face. Both gums, top and bottom, were stinging, which made it fairly impossible to eat. Being brave, I soldiered on, but every few bites would have to pause to allow my mouth to regroup. So let's recap, I was dizzy. I was hot and sticky. I was headachey. I was feeling sick. I was faint. I was missing my cider. I was struggling to eat. At that time, as well as England were doing, I had no interest in the cricket. I needed to get out of there.

I went for a walk. Bodies were appearing everywhere as I staggered through the crowded stadium concourse. Why were they in my way, couldn't they see I was on the verge? I wandered from one side of the stadium to the other, hoping to find a cool spot where I could sit down and recover. But there weren't any. Frustration could be added to the earlier list of annoyances. I went to the toilet, and splashed some water on my face. Come on, pull yourself together. You're on the trip of a lifetime, watching a match that I've dreamed about going to for years. This isn't the time to have a sulk. Slightly buoyed by the peptalk of the weird bloke at the urinals, I walked back to my seat.

As I was making my way back (still tired, angry, frustrated etc) I had to go past the Barmy Army. The Barmy Army have a great array of songs, which I massively enjoy singing. But there's one that stands out as my favourite. "We'll take the urn home". It's the song I whistle as I walk to the bus stop, and the song I hum under my breath on the bus. It's the song I've been learning the words to, just so I can belt it out as loud as I can, without any fear of messing any of the words up. And as I walked past the Barmy Army, I heard the familiar strains of the opening line. "We came over from Blighty, The Barmy Army and me...". After the full song (don't forget, it is an epic) finished, I was in a much better mood. I returned to my seat, to see that there was only 10 minutes left of the two hour session. I'd almost completely missed it. (Although, I did see the two wickets that fell as I ambled round the stadium).

As the tea break finished, they announced that tickets for Day 5 were now available, at $30. Only $30 to see England wrap up the Ashes and lift the urn? $30 for a historic day in English cricketing history? I was having some of that. I went round to the ticket office, queued up, and ensured my seat for tomorrow in with the Barmy Army (rather than round with the Aussies like I was today and yesterday). Lovely stuff.

As the final session went on, my earlier pains returned. I put it down to fatigue, as I hadn't slept well last night. Australia were batting well and didn't look like getting out. There wouldn't be much more action today. I'd sneak off at around 5, get in a good night's sleep ahead of a big day tomorrow. So at 4.55, I packed up my bag, picked up my flag, and was about to leave. I told myself that I'd wait until the end of the over, Tim Bresnan was bowling. The first few balls went down with nothing special happening. Mike Hussey, Australia's form batsman this series was facing. I had a quick look at my phone to check the time and GONE! Hussey slapped one to Kevin Pietersen at the gully, and was out. Literally just as I was about to leave.

And how lucky it was that I didn't. After Hussey went, so did Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson, who both went in the space of two balls to Chris Tremlett. It was suddenly party time at the SCG. While earlier I'd secretly hoped that the game would go into five days, just so I could be in with the Barmy Army, I was up cheering every ball, seeing if England could seal it tonight. All the Aussies had left, and it was just us English. And it was great. Every song the Barmy Army have ever written was sung, every player got a round of applause. Jonathan Trott, who was fielding in front of us, got a massive standing ovation every time he turned towards the crowd (which he did every ball). Alastair Cook, who swapped with Trott, was urged to "give us a sprinkle". And he did. It was maybe the best hour I've ever seen of a crowd at a sporting event; the players were loving it, the fans were loving it, and more importantly (for this blog) I was loving it.

I'm home now, and yes my tooth still hurts, but who cares. England are about to win their first Ashes series in Australia in my lifetime, and I'm going to be there to see it and celebrate it in style. And who cares if I have to drink beer tomorrow, we'll probably be celebrating so much that I won't even notice what sort of beverage it is! It's probably safe to say that my second half of the day was a bit better than my first - so much so that I'm not massively bothered that I wasted loads of time and money queuing for a $30 ticket for tomorrow (they announced that tickets for tomorrow will be free of charge after I'd paid) - at least I'll have a souvenir of the occasion. (Although, I'll probably try and get that $30 back...)

So anyway, that concludes today's blog and it was a bit of a monster! I had so much pain and misery to talk about that it went on a bit. Don't hold your breath for a blog tomorrow, I may not be in a position to write very lucidly...

Stay safe, Will