Cadbury-tastic

I've spent the last couple of days of getting up and 12 and not doing much. However, I realised that I could get up at 12 and not do much in England (and I do), so I decided to get up early and go and do something. I decided to go to the Cadbury chocolate factory.

For those of you who don't know, Cadbury make chocolate. Lots of it. Dairy Milk, Bourneville, Freddos, Buttons - pretty much everything. (Except my favourite chocolate, Galaxy). The factory, set up in 1922, produces an awful lot of chocolate, and is the largest chocolate factory in the southern hemisphere.

The factory, about a 50 minute bus ride out of Hobart (although we could have made it in 20 if the bus driver didn't insist on pulling into every minor road just to see if anyone wanted to get on or off - nobody did as we were all going to the chocolate factory) completely dominates the town of Claremont. The roads are all named after chocolate bars. Cadbury owns all of the local houses, and lets it's workers live in them. The air even smells of chocolate - the first thing you step off the bus and do is sniff the cocoa filled air. Makes a change from the normal pollution of other factories!

I'd expected (or hoped) for it to not be dissimiliar to Willy Wonka's Factory. While I wasn't expecting singing Oompa Loompas wandering around, I at least thought I'd see a river of chocolate that I'd be able to dip my hand into and have a taste. Sadly that was not the case. After being assigned a tour which would be half an hour after I arrived, I was shown into the "visitors waiting area". Which was shared with the factory worker's canteen. And seemingly twinned with a Russian gulag. Unfriendly was the word that sprang to mind. Magical it was not.

The tours of the chocolate making bits were well-known and well-loved amongst Tasmanians, and Rachel certainly recommended it when we spoke about it. However, when I began my 12.00 tour, it turned out that Cadbury's no longer ran tours of the chocolate making due to health and safety concerns. So what we got was a 10 minute talk about the cocoa plant, a 5 minute DVD about the history of Cadbury and a taste of some chocolate making ingredients (as well as plenty of the final product). And that was it.

I'd hoped for more of Cadbury's chocolate factory. I wanted to see vats of melted chocolate waiting to be made into bars. I wanted to see all the chunks of chocolate being put into packages. I wanted to see the journey of the humble cocoa bean from it's tree to it's final destination as a Dairy Milk. We were told that there was actually very little of that that goes on at Cadbury Tasmania any more, as it's cheaper to do it in Singapore and Papua New Guinea.

I don't want to moan about my morning in Cadbury World (because sadly that was as long as it lasted, a morning). The staff were friendly, passionate and informative. The talk about how chocolate is made has given me loads of pointless pub-quiz-ready chocolate knowledge. And there was a lot of free chocolate being given out! Everyone was given a big (200g) bar of Dairy Milk on entry, as well as other bars here and there along our tour. And after the tour I went into the factory outlet (where they sell chocolate very cheaply) and bought loads. A message to friends and family - I bought you all some presents in the Cadbury shop, but then realised that it will have gone off by the time I get home. So I decided to eat it all myself. Yum. (Does chocolate go off?)

My chocolate eating made me the target of a parent's anger. As you will know, my mum is an internationally acclaimed Parent Coach and author (of Raising Happy Children for Dummies, one in the famous black and yellow series). So I sometimes find it interesting to listen to how parents deal with their kids. After we were all given the big bar of chocolate when we entered, we all then went into the canteen / prison recreation room to sit and wait for our tour. Most people (ie everyone else) put their big bar of chocolate sensibly in their bags for later. I, however, got mine out, and started wolfing it down. One small child nearby clearly wanted some chocolate, but his mum wouldn't let him have any. So he pointed at me (with a mouth covered in chocolate) and said loudly "but that boy is having his chocolate" (Boy? I'm 18! Have some respect...). To which his mum remarked "well, he shouldn't be". So there I was, the son of a parent coach, and a bad example to a child. This should have made me feel guilty, but I kept eating.

I'm not really sure what the target demographic for a chocolate factory is, but it probably isn't "teenager". The only people that were there today were 'families' (two parents and a couple of young children) and 'the elderly'. And a couple of Americans (but to be fair, it is a chocolate factory, there was always going to be a few Americans knocking about). As I was wearing my Caterham School hoody (representing), one of the members of the elderly approached me as I was waiting for the bus, and announced that she was from Kenley. For those of you who don't know, Kenley is literally just up the road from Caterham. After saying "oh, isn't it a small world" a number of times (and exhausting all of the ways of saying "what a coincidence") I had finished with our exchange, but sadly she wanted it to continue for a while. Despite the bus arriving, me putting on headphones and obviously disinterested in her ramblings, she kept trying to get my attention, despite the fact we were now sitting at opposite ends of the bus. Just to point out, I wasn't being rude or anything. I'd spoken to her sister (she was also there). I'd made small talk about Kenley, Croydon, and how small a world it was. I'd given some chat about the Queensland floods. I'd said where I'd been, and where I was going next. But she kept going, until she reached the reason for her conversation. She invited me out to her holiday home on the Gold Coast. No offence love, but I'm not interested. That's a bit wierd. I politely declined, ran further towards the back of the bus, and sang along audibly to my iPod so she wouldn't disturb me further. Even above the strains of The Flood by Take That, I heard her ask me whether I'd be picking up an Aussie accent during my time out here. I ignored her.

Anyway, thanks for reading today's blog. Here are a couple of pictures of what I saw at Cadbury Tasmania!




I can feel it, calling in the air tonight...


And to finish - great results from Ipswich and Blackpool! Sea, sea, seasiders! Will